You know, some people ask me my religious beliefs. Well, I don't have any. No--I take that back...There is one thing that I live in awe of.

Wanna know something weird? Well, don't ask me, I'm just a tourist. You might wanna try going here or here, though.

Hey all you barabaric people out there who are keeping poor, innocent lightbulbs in slavery--train your peepers on this brave new site: a site that proves, once and for all, that kosher pickles do indeed make excellent lighting fixtures. I've been telling everyone that from the beginning, but did they believe me? Nooooo. (And don't listen to Quacky; he'll tell you it was all his idea. But he's a liar.)

Ever hear of Chaos Theory? Neither have I. But it has an interesting name, don't you think?

Just between you and me, sometimes even evil geniuses get stumped. Why, just last week I was working on this crossword puzzle, and...well, I asked this guy, and, well, he knew everything! He even knew what those little plastic things on the ends of shoelaces are called! He did! But I forget.

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